The Reawakened Longing

There is this ache deep within me, a longing and hunger that gets stirred up sometimes. I long for home. And home isn't the place where I currently am, sure this place is "home" but not home. I feel silly as little tears running down my cheeks because this ache has produced a lump in my throat. What is it that I long for? True, deep belonging that wells up out of being loved and loving. And it isn't a place really, it's Him. I long for Him.

There are books that have been cherished by generations of readers that can only hint on the echos of this longing, of this ache. But when I happen to read one, it reawakens me to the realization that Here isn't complete, that Here is missing something profound.

I've known what it is to love someone, but that someone wasn't Him, that someone was a him. There is too many great differences between a him and Him. I long to go Home, to be with Him and never be parted. I long to be wrapped up in His arms and known Him, here I can only know a little of Him and it just isn't the same. Maybe I'm wrong but I sincerely doubt it. It's just that with Him, what could ever be better than that? Perfection is Him. To be sure, I am grateful and happy being here, for being here is where I'm supposed to be for now. But how can I truly be happy here when here is broken and I'm so forgetful of Him?

And when He slips from my mind, the whole day feels wasted because I'm not with Him. This may seem like some religious nut-case, but when you love someone so fiercely don't you wish to spend your whole day with them? Yet, somehow I seem to remember Him for only minutes a day and barely invited Him into anything I do or say or think or feel. But if I was Home, I would be with Him all the time and never forget Him. Though I must admit, I guess it all comes down to me, what choices I make or not. I can talk with Him face-to-face, prayer. I can spend all day with Him, I need to make the effort. Maybe you'll think I'm crazy, a religious fanatic or something the like, but in all reality I just know what LOVE is, and I'll sell all I have for it.