Preparation

Preparations begins with today.

I've developed and made the bad habit of procrastinating. This includes putting off my taxes, avoiding signing up for Nurse Delegation (a class I need to have completed within 90 days of my hire date...), sleeping in instead of going outside to run and so much more.

But then it hit me. Preparation begins with TODAY. So I laced up my shoes and headed out into the rain. I warmed up and began my "couch-to-5k" program. I wheezed as I jogged/ran. I walked trying to breathe deeply. I repeated the process. I am out of shape. Tomorrow will require biking, the next day I will again lace up my shoes to go run. I found the number to call for the Nurse Delegation class and begin gathering my tax information. Making new habits starts today.

In preparation I've also cut out certain food products that have hindered me, (both physical and spiritually). These include foods that list sugar in the top three ingredients. However if I ban some food completely I've set myself up for failure, I have set aside Sundays to enjoy a treat or two. I've also committed to having only ONE serving of dairy a day. Why? Because these foods have been and are places where I struggle. I used to make quesadillas nearly everyday, with tons of cheddar cheese even while having some other dairy rich food. Sugar was my "best friend" and comforter. If there was something sugary in the house I would probably find it and have most of it.

Ever since I've made these changes I've had to face temptation every SINGLE DAY. It helps to know that on Sunday I can enjoy a small ice cream or something as simple as a dessert a friend had made. But what it comes down to is I have made a habit of turning to food instead of turning to God. I have made a habit of taking the easy way out, of taking the quick "fix" with my problems and with my time. That attitude has also seeped into other areas of my life. Pray the Rosary? No, I'm tired and that takes too long. How sad is this response? And to think I have done that so many times!

Things have been impressed upon me in other areas that I need to be preparing myself for major changes. Being able to run long distances is one of the things I need to be prepared to do. Being faithful in all the little things is another place that I need to be working on. For example when I lost my Rosary and was looking for it, my dad asked what I was searching for. Instead of saying, "I'm looking for my Rosary." I said, "I'm looking for my rope bracelet," (my Rosary is made of thin rope which I wear around my wrist. Being open about my faith with my family is a place where I have been failing. They are not open to Catholicism from what I've seen. Yet there is a time coming and indeed is almost here, when I will get a lot of flack for being Catholic publicly. I need to be preparing myself for that time, and it starts with where I am right now.

Preparation begins with today.