Truth Be Told

I need to change things up and revamp this blog! So be ready for changes!!

Right Now it Just Hurts

Ever have your world come crashing down around you and you can only stand there. Running away doesn't help because you can't escape you. And fighting it doesn't help, because what are you fighting against? And fighting won't stop things from falling apart. That's been the summary of my life the last month. All I can do is trust in God. He hasn't and won't abandon me, even though it feels like He's far away, He isn't. He is near and I have to hold on to that. I would rather not say what happened, just know that the worse things that you face, someone else HAS faced before and survived, and NOT JUST survived but came through it all better and stronger and sweeter. And if that doesn't give you some comfort, hold on to the fact that God is near and talk to Him, give Him your sorrows.

Oh, how I wish things would have ended differently for this chapter of my life. Yet, I must trust that God is in control even though it is gut twistingly difficult. Because He IS.

Overcome

This week I have been overcome with such a deep sense of being loved. There have been two distinct moments but the first and far more powerful came from Confession. The second I'll try to tell about later.

Having grown up in a rather anti-Catholic family, coming into the Catholic Church has been a long process for me. I've debated nearly every issue along the way and there were a number of time when I explicitly said, "I would never become Catholic!" But through God's grace and a heart so desperately hungry for Him I have come to admit I was very wrong before and have been eagerly awaiting the moment when I become a full part of the Catholic faith. One of the subjects that I has fought against was the need to confess to a priest- why should I tell a priest when I can just tell God and ask for forgiveness from Him in my own room on my own time? Or I would argue that I can have a mentor or accountability partner with whom I could voice my struggles and failures to, why do I supposedly need a priest? But as I did my own research and asked questions and my goodness, did I spend lots of time in prayer asking the Holy Spirit to show me if these things were right or wrong and Him DOING SO I have come to the point of excitement about going to my first Confession! That's right! I was excited about confessing all of my sins to a priest who is practically a stranger to me.

Preparation

Preparations begins with today.

I've developed and made the bad habit of procrastinating. This includes putting off my taxes, avoiding signing up for Nurse Delegation (a class I need to have completed within 90 days of my hire date...), sleeping in instead of going outside to run and so much more.

Where I Work: Part II

I wrote last week about where I work. This week that post continues in a whole new light and perspective.

Where I Work

Where I work it is busy and taxing. Yet I know that at least for right now, I am supposed to be there. That knowing makes all the difference. Each day I spend washing dishes, dolling out medicine, feeding the residents and doing their laundry has purpose beyond the fact that these maybe the most mundane tasks. I want to laugh, because I realize how important it is that I can actually DO those things! I can tie my own shoes and brush my own teeth! I can walk on my own and get out of bed, things I have taken for granted my whole life thus far. The little things are to be cherished to be sure, but there are the big things that I see differently too.

Let's Get To The Point

Since I'm in Washington State there have been some political issues that have been on the forefront of the news. Homosexuality and laws concerning marriage, along with health care and all. But what I was most surprised about were some of the pictures people have been posting on Facebook. Pictures of bump stickers and comments like, "If I saw that car I would key it!" (This comment was based on a bumper sticker supporting marriage to be only legal between a man and a woman). Ironically this comment was probably the nicest comment on there! I was shocked. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? The person's bump sticker that was in question may have offended people, but don't they have the right to have a different view, a different stand on those issues? I know far too many people who have voiced their views that marriage should remain between a man and woman and have been threatened because of it. Who is being threatened for supporting homosexual marriage? Not one person that I have heard of (notice I said, "I have heard of"). So why this viciousness? What happened to discussing ideas and views and being non-malicious, non-violent?

One of the comments said, "What an ignorant *****!" I found this incredibly ironic because there was no way the person commenting knew the owner of the car, which means they have NO IDEA if the owner had any understanding of the issue the bumper sticker was about- thus the person commentating was displaying their own true ignorance. Additionally, the word used to describe that person, well that is never acceptable... no matter who you are. Sadly, this is getting to be more and more commonplace. Those who are of a different belief, view, idea, opinion are being attacked because of it. Since when has that ever been acceptable? If people on EITHER side of the issues are acting with violence the law needs to step in- regardless of the view the person held and give justice according to what was done. Whether or not someone supports homosexual marriage should never be cause for threats, degradation or maliciousness... Just saying.