This Month's Theme: Trusting

I don't know about you but with each season of my life, be it a month long or years, are themes. Last month the focus seemed to be on growing my faith. I was pushed and challenged in all new ways for me. I was put to the test at times and struggled to hold on to my faith, and let me tell you, it felt that I was holding on for dear life.

This month has been different. Take last night for example:


It started when my ex and I broke up a little less than a month ago. We ended it because we realized he wasn't the man for me and I'm not the woman for him. It was hard, mainly because my whole perspective changed literally overnight concerning him. Thought the way I saw him changed, those feelings could  resurface. We cared deeply for each other. And though we broke up, we continued met up, (this is silly by most people's standards, we were best friends and didn't want to ditch the friendship). I could tell him anything and have probably told him nearly everything too. Combine all that with having gone on the worst second date in history on Saturday. I was missing having him in my life in that close-kind of relationship. While talking with God about all of this: my crappy 2nd date, missing my best friend and ex, and just what-the-hey-was-going-on, this hit me... "Give me the relationship. Give me the friendship. Let go of him Claire." And you know what? I really don't want to give it up. I really don't want to let go of him. I don't want to give all of that over to God. Trusting Him with somethings are easier than others. Trusting Him with this seems at times almost impossible. But I simply CAN'T hold on to it. I have to let it and him, go.

Here are the facts:
From the beginning to the end God lead me and him in our relationship.
God, like a lover, isn't satisfied with being only a part of our lives- He wants us to trust Him completely, to submit everything, our whole selves to Him. He wants us & me in entirety.
I don't understand why God does why He does all that He does
BUT I do know:
He loves me
I can trust Him
He is in control and
does have a plan for me
and He promises that it's good.

In all things He is calling me to trust Him.