Community Part I

In a society that lives on Facebook, Twitter, chats, emails, text messaging, and Skyping we still are very much a separated group of people. We like our privacy, which is such a contradiction considering what kind of pictures people will upload. But that's just it. We keep people at a distance when it comes to meaningful topics and issues, to depth. I don't know where you live, but here in the States, most people (especially us city folks) don't know their own neighbors. On that note, most people move so much that people rarely stay in the same location for more than a couple years. But I know how good and important community is.

During my college years I had a group of close friends of about four other girls. We often came together for more than homework, studying and having fun. We would stay up until the early hours of the morning opening up to each other about our personal struggles, victories, successes, failures, hope, aspirations and fears. We talked about God, politics, our culture and responsibilities, we talked about boys, what it meant to live a Christian life and everything in between. Coming back home from graduation, I came to discover that my friends in college are rare indeed.

(Gingerbread cookie faces of Justina, Robin, Bree and Janelle, made by yours truly)

(Robin, Bree, Janelle, and Justina with their own cookie!)

This particularly society likes and prefers to keep people on very shallow levels of knowing each other. Conversations rarely go deeper than what happened that day, how work has been and how's the relationship with the significant other going (just don't spill too much ok)? AKA it's all kept to small talk. We rarely bare our souls to another, and live in that kind of honesty.

Don't talk about your struggles or pain, don't bring up your deeper desires, dreams, ambitions and longing, don't even mention religion, though politics are fine if you agree otherwise don't mention them. See the problem? We need each other. We need to talk about those things more openly and freely. I wonder if that is part of the reason why there is such an epidemic of problems like self cutting, porn, alcoholism, non-addictive drug use, lying and more. I wonder if we were able to talk with one another, to freely love one another, to confess our faults and seek out help without shame or judgment, if those problems would be far less widespread anymore.

This morning I had an amazing phone conversation with my best friend about some of what I've been struggling with since my break up. We talked about his struggles too and how we have seen those things play out in men and women, how they impact our culture, and our own responsibility. We discussed relationships and our fears and concerns. We went in depth on how neither of us wants to date anyone right now and yet knowing that if we met the right person for us it would change everything too. We talked about so much more and honestly, I wish I had more friends like him, people who were willing to talk about the difficult things, the things that aren't so nice or pretty. I know I am better off because of that phone call.

We are made for community. We are designed for relationships- deep friendships that get at the very core of who we are. Those kinds of friendships push us to become better people, to broaden our perspectives, and expand ourselves and to grow our hearts.

What is the point of all this? I want to stop holding back from people, I want to live an authentic, genuine life with others.

I keep on saying it because I keep discovering just how true this is and how far it goes:

We are made for so much more than we have settled for.