Remember how I mentioned there are two people at work with whom I don't exactly "click" with? This morning I had the opportunity to work with one of them. And you know what? It was great! I was getting a little frustrated with my assigned tasks and she was not only quick to help me but also was encouraging. To be honest, it's been a difficult to love others on my own. The last couple of days I've been very "me" focused and it's shown in various ways. But yesterday things started changing for the better again. Instead of putting my attention on myself and what's been going on there I realized that the best way to love others is to love God. The best way to love God is to know Him ever better. Like any relationship, to love them you have to get to know them better and the more you know them the more you love them.
I've messed up too. But the forgiveness and grace of God is wonderful. He picks me up and dusts me off and says, "try again Love." Ever notice how when you draw near to Him there are all of a sudden more distinctive choices? I mean, I've been noticing there are more clear instances where my decision to do or not do, to say something or not is directly related to choosing to be with God or not.
Like yesterday; my friend and I were looking through her movies.We both are ridiculously indecisive about movies. Our solution? She picked four options and I pick from the four. All of them were the typical romantic comedies- focused on lust. In it and of themselves they're not bad movies. They just don't really have any clue about what love is or what sex is for that matter and focus on it. But sex isn't love and love isn't sex. So there I was with four choices that for me would draw me away from God. I picked one and then right before we put the DVD in, I realized: "I don't have to watch this! I can pick a different movie, one that is good!"
That moment was monumental. Anyone reading this probably just went, "What's the big deal?" The big deal is I realized I have more freedom. I realized in that moment I had a choice, the choice to start down a path that would draw me from my God or to make a suggestion that would be good for us. We watched The Blindside instead and I have to say I am so glad I did! That movie not only has a positive message, focus, but also is very, very well done.
I've coming to discover there are numerous choices in my day where I am faced with blatant opportunities (ones that I had previously overlooked) to choose to be closer to God or to take steps away from Him. The more that I choose to be with Him, the more I'm coming to know Him. I'm coming to realize He's not pleased when I listen to music that distorts what He made, or when I watch movies that make a joke of something He called "Very good." He has even prompted me to think about how much time I spend on the computer, the Internet, and yes, even how much time I spend indoors. The more I'm coming to know Him the more I'm growing in love for Him. The more I love Him, the easier it is to love others. Did I mention that people rarely annoy me anymore? That's a big deal, especially because I work in retail! But all I want is more of Him...
P.S. Please don't feel like I'm putting down anyone who does differently than me. I'm just saying all that I've been experiencing and learning.
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